“love ya” – a post by guest blogger Robert Gary

Guest post by Robert Gary

Have you ever noticed there are very few songs sung by folks who have been married for years? Most “love” songs are from the point of view of a new love or, sadly, from the end of one. I wonder why that is? Why are we not as passionate with long standing relationships as we were at the beginning of it?

You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips…” The
Righteous Brothers ( You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling )

 

Fellas, has your relationship with your wife become the basis for a lost love song? Has the fire that once roared uncontrollably been reduced to smoldering ash? I have found, in observing others and yes, even my own relationship, that married couples become “content” ”comfortable” and “routine”. So much so we forget that our wives were once our muse. They were, at one time, all we could think about, day and night. I know when I first met my wife, we spent all day texting each other; almost to the point of distraction. When we first married, all we wanted to do was be near each other. It didn’t matter where or how just as long as we were together. Then, years later you wake up, run off to work, run home, take the kids somewhere, cook dinner, buy groceries, clean the house, fix the car, watch TV, check your email….

Somewhere along the way we lost focus of our wives. Somewhere we neglected to include our spouses in our “lives.” Oh sure, they are still with us and we see them most every day. We may even give them a quick kiss on the lips of cheek and a well rehearsed “love ya” as we rush out the door but where’s the “I gotta have you” feelings? I am no expert, but even I can recognize that when your spouse becomes little more than a roommate, you have big problems. In my relationship with my wife we because very routine. Eventually we became more and more individuals and less and less a couple. She did her thing, I did mine. Guys, I am here to tell you that THAT don’t work. That is not what God intended when he created marriage.

I’m also going to tell you that it’s our fault fellas. That’s right, I said it. It’s our fault. Remember when we were courting our wives? How we “dressed to impress.” We “ruffled our tail feathers”. We wrote love notes, sang songs, told her how much we needed her and could never live without her. Remember those days? Over the years I have unfortunately seen many divorces among friends, family and co-workers and in 99% of them the woman always says “He just stopped loving me”. Men..fixing the car, buying a house, cutting the grass, working hard everyday at work to provide for the family, is not love. That’s responsibility. Women need love.

Buy me a rose, call me from work, Open a door for me, what would it hurt? Show me you love me by the look in your eyes. These are the little things I need the most in my life.” – Kenny Rogers (Buy me a Rose)

Kenny Rogers said it all right there in that song. (look it up, it’s a good one). Women want and need to be loved. “loved” men not “kept” or ”taken care of”….”loved” Read the entire book “Song of Songs”. It’s in the Old Testament. Notice as you read, it’s from two points of view. The “Lover” (the man) and the “Beloved” (the woman). He is the one showing his love for her and she responds in kind.

Jesus said in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” If we are to be loving our wives like Christ loved and continues to LOVE us then we need to bring back some of those old “courting” days feelings. Jesus has never stopped loving us nor has ever backed down on telling us how much he loves us every day.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”

Yes I said it twice, that’s not a misprint-  it’s the most important thing that’s been said tonight, so I wanted you to see it again.

Guys, you showed your wives once before…yes, even years ago, that you loved her with everything you had in you. Show her that every day and I guarantee your life with your wife with positively change and flourish!